Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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