Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You ate ashes out of my bong
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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