Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
