guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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