He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
