I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
We are all done wearing pants today
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize