Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Randomize
