So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
