I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Pappa wants mamma naked
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
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