talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
