belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
