Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
