apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
