Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize