he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize