why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
