big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
