i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
