i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
time to smoke my breakfast
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
