I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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