Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You were trust falling into bushes
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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