I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
