I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
