I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
