Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
