My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize