I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize