So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize