we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
