wrigley field is MILF paradise
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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