Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
