We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
