i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
