STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
40s are totally the cure
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
