How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
