someone get that fucking seahorse.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
