problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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