he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I forget how to act sober
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
