hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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