she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
