he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
