I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
