I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
