a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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