that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
its liver damage thursday
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize