2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
