Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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