i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
