you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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