I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
