i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
from now on my penis is your penis
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
