Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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