Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
