We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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