I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
