1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
In America we eat man semen.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
This is classic penis vs brain.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
