Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
