I skipped work to stalk him.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
