Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
