so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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