okay pat passed out under dana's car
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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