Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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