Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
We are two peas in an std pod
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
