No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
