So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
