so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
