spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
So vagazzling was a success
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