You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
