I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
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