They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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