I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
