dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
