I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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