I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We talked him into tasing himself.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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