just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
