i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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