No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Mom said you looked used
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
