hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
