Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
