Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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