she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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