i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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