He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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