No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
