I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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